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A lot of people see the term "step-family" and decided to go with a "patchwork family" instead. While that may be more politically correct, there is a high risk that the use of terminology. Let's look at why.
A family stage consists of several distinct parts:
The woman and her children
The man and his sons
Remarried couple
Some of these pieces revel in their different properties and can contain up to her for her life. These properties definethey always have been.
Now take one minute and think about your friendly blender in your kitchen. When you use it? What is their purpose? It will take many ingredients and blend into a new concoction. In fact, if you're like me, is annoying to mix something, we begin to realize pay off, and there is a glop at the bottom, do not mix in anything else.
Although it may seem like a good idea to take various parts of the family and "blend" into soundOne, is not it! Are not mixed evenly, no matter how hard you try! They are closer to your children about what their body are your stepchildren. It 'stupid to believe that once the wedding ring is slipped on her finger, I also like their children. Things are not evenly mixed "Now matter how hard you try.
A "mentality Blender is nice sounding unit, because it reminds of the nuclear family, where everyone belonged. The couple had their ownThe children, so that all are equal consolidated. It's nice and clean. This is simply not the case of a family of step.
This may seem small, they seem to be questioned, "I mean, is not merely terminological, right?" Wrong. The terms we use to create, how we think things. This is the danger in this situation.
Here are common problems that arise when we identify with the mixer:
Frustration, because everyone is not to get along, what they should.
Angerbecause it is not how we think, we must accept.
Uncomfortable, because life is not working properly as it should be.
What is wrong with one of these? Each of them has this basic assumption of how things should be. " If our assumptions do not occur, it is really easy to give up easily and accept that things have failed.
Not that you do not, or even that the family failed. Instead, the draft nuclear family is your family step that the application. Fail People do not have "mixed".
Instead, allow the family to grow in mutual respect. They all know the amounts for different time. Enter to grow the relationship over time and develop in their own way. The more we can leave early in the idealistic belief that this new family, as the previous functional nuclear family, the sooner you can enjoy what you have, rather frustrated with trying to solve the problem.
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